His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
