Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Randomize
