This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
