my phone needs a breathalizer
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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