R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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