Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
