you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
