Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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