here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
this just has baby written all over it
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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