dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
