You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
