So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
