So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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