I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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