You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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