According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
