three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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