Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
