so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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