On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize