i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
im six kinds of drunk right now
worst night to have a conscience
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Randomize
