New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
