He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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