Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
