he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Randomize