Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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