is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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