somebody snuck up and got me drunk
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
