There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
