I hate your face
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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