I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
