And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
