I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
