I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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