so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
