it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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