Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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