hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
