Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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