U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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