Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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