Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize