I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
