I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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