I'm lost and stupid without you.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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