I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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