The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize
