so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
