Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
