I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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