Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
