Plan B is the new Plan A
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
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