You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
