so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Sorry about my life...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
All the doctor said was why
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
