Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
