Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My penis needs a shock collar
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
