the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize