Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
