Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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