Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
