i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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