I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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