well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
The air was thick with penises
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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