i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize