I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
