somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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