Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We are all done wearing pants today
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
