My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
