It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
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