He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
you never un-have a 4some
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
