I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
