When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
