It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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