I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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