college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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